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Goal Setting vs. Goal Sitting

  • Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:15 pm

Goal Setting vs. Goal Sitting is another excellent article from the Great Chris Brady.

It’s that time of year again. People rush to join health clubs, open savings accounts, buy Nicotine gum, and a whole host of activities intended to improve themselves, break the habit, turn the corner, clear the hurdles, and get the proverbial monkeys off their backs. In some ways this frenzy of good intentions is a bit humorous, tied to the start of the new year and all. Why is it that January 1st evokes such a wave of well meaning misfires? Why not July 1st, or September 28th? Why not every day?

I offer the theory that there is nothing special about January 1st itself, rather, it merely serves as a good place to play such a game because we like deadlines, love milestones, and look to build the drama of everyday events into something bigger and therefore more meaningful. We love the idea that we are actually going to take responsibility for outcomes and actually force ourselves to change – this time. Tradition also has its pull; we are convinced that because “everyone else is doing it” or “people have always done it,” we should be participating too.

Maybe it’s unavoidable, this gravitational pull toward New Year’s Resolutions. So why fight it? Perhaps the best course of action (and I can hardly believe I’m writing the words) is to line up with everyone else and set some 2011 goals for ourselves. After all, Rascals are all about growing and improving, and maybe it’s just that this time of year is the one time when the crowd lines up with us.

So how can we set goals that won’t disappear faster than a politician’s promise? First, let’s cover the basics, which are given more depth of treatment in Orrin Woodward and my book, Launching a Leadership Revolution.

1. Goals must be specific

2. Goals must be written down

3. Goals must be set in stone

4. Goals must be measurable

5. Goals must be realistic

6. Goals must provide motivation

7. Goals must be in line with priorities and values

8. Goals must be prominent

9. Goals must have a specific time period

And now for some subtle nuances that will help make your 2011 goals more achievable:

1. Don’t set too many goals. Sometimes we can overwhelm ourselves with too many things on which to focus at once. We want to loose weight, build muscle, stop a bad habit, improve in this area, move ahead in that. We take a look at ourselves and see so many areas for improvement that we are tempted to attack them all at once. Resist this temptation. Select one (or at the most two), and hammer away at it with all your ability. Focus is the key.

2. Take immediate action. Goals are actually quite easy to set; the process is painless, quick, and costs nothing. Where the fins hit the water is when we take action toward their fulfillment. Action convinces our subconscious minds that we are serious. It begins patterns that can form into productive habits. So allow no time to lapse between the setting of a goal and the first steps toward its attainment. Remember: time kills all deals, and this includes deals you make with yourself. So get moving, and do it immediately.

3. Set rewards and correspondingly deny yourself. One of the most effective methods for gaining leverage over ourselves is to set up a reward system that encourages correct and discourages incorrect behavior. (Also, it should go without saying that such a reward/denial system should align with the goals set.) For instance, let’s say your goal is to lose that last 15 pounds. An action plan might involve joining a health club, working out three to four times a week, and managing your caloric intake. So far so good. The reward system might look like this: DENY yourself any baked goods whatsoever until Sunday, at which time, if and only if you were successful throughout the week, you REWARD yourself with a treat. Now, I am not a weight management specialist. Perhaps this is a stupid idea physiologically. I don’t know (and I don’t care). The point is that self-denial can be used to encourage correct actions, which are then rewarded in small but non-destructive ways.

4. Align your environment. Changing things in our inward lives almost always requires making changes in our outward lives. Much of the time our environment, if not entirely responsible, is at least an accomplice in who we are, what we do, and how we behave. If you hang out with a bunch of people doing a certain activity and yet you’ve vowed to refrain from that activity, guess what? Your association with those people is going to have to come to an end, at least in large part. If you’re trying to lose weight but you hold your daily company lunches at Krispy Kreme’s, you might want to rethink your geographical tendencies. You get the idea.

5. Track progress. We need encouragement like a newspaper needs crises. One of the best ways to encourage a correct behavior in ourselves is to track and take note of progress, no matter how miniscule. Seeing improvement, noticing some advancement, are fuel in the tanks of self-improvement and change.

6. Keep the big picture in mind. Most of our worthy goals are anchored to our ideals. Our new goal fits some higher picture we hold of ourselves and some loftier concept we’d like to make reality. Keep this in mind. View it continually and remember the deepest reasons for setting the goal in the first place. Remember: it’s hard to get down when you’re constantly looking up.

So those are the guidelines and the nuances for goal setting. At a time of year when everyone seems aligned to better themselves in one way or another, there is no shame in joining the crowd (just don’t get used to it). Sadly, though, you won’t be with the crowd for long. They’ll fall by the wayside like the wimpy kids at football tryouts. They’ll set their goals and then sit their goals. They’ll set high expectations and then sit down in the dumps. But not you. Now you are armed and dangerous. You’ve been given all you need to not only properly set a goal, but to hit it as well. I’ll see you at the health club.

http://chrisbrady.typepad.com/my_weblog/

The Starting Point to ALL Achievement

  • Posted on December 29, 2010 at 11:31 pm

Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill
Chapter 2 – Desire

The first step towards riches is to have a desire. A desire is not a wish but a request that brings satisfaction or enjoyment. The difference between a wish and a desire is that when you wish for something, you don’t necessarily put any action behind your wish. “I wish it would snow today” It may or it may not snow today but I don’t need to do anything to make it happen (or not happen). A desire however, is a request for something but there is action behind this request with persistence and an attitude of not giving up until you obtain that particular desire. “I desire to have a successful business” and I am not stopping until I reach that point. This desire needs to be so strong that there is an obsession with this desire. It is important that we NEVER lose sight of our desire. When we take our eyes off of what we want and are working towards we become distracted.

I have seen what it means to have a burning desire and not stop until you receive what it is that you desire. About a year and a half ago, my husband and I decided we needed to find another house to rent. I came across this one particular house. It was perfect! 4 bedrooms, a nice size kitchen open to a great room with a fireplace looking out the back of the house to woods. It was in a very nice neighborhood with mature trees lining the road. I showed this listing to my husband and he said there was no way we could afford the rent they were asking and I told him “we’ll see.” I had this burning desire for this house and I wanted it more than anything. I drove past the house at least 3 times a week just to see the house and had a vision in my mind of what it would be like to live in this house. I didn’t call to inquire about the house right away; I patiently waited knowing deep down inside that we were meant to have this house. I patiently waited for a few months to go by. After 4 months of driving past this house, I called to schedule an appointment to see the house. The inside was even more beautiful than the outside and the owners were negotiable on the rent and we are so happy to being living in the house today! The point of the story is to find something that you desire, create a vision in your mind or write down what it is you desire and with patience and persistence your desire will come to be.

Thoughts are Things

  • Posted on December 27, 2010 at 11:00 pm

I am reading “Think and Grow Rich” by Napolean Hill with my mastermind group and I made a commitment to myself that I would write a lesson for each of the chapters. I love feedback and would appreciate your thoughts.

Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill
Chapter 1 – Thoughts are things

Our thoughts are the product of mental activity. We control our mental activity. So what are your thoughts about? Are they positive or negative? Are they about love or anger? Take for example, 2 workers. The first worker has a college degree, came from an affluent family, and grew up with the best of the best. The second worker came from poverty, got his degree from the “school of hard knocks” but has the belief that he can do anything he puts his mind to. Both men are qualified for a job, who will be more successful? You may think the first man would be better because of his background and his degree but if he doesn’t believe in himself and have a positive outlook, he could fail miserably. The first man may be better qualified but if the second man has an unshakeable belief that he will succeed then that is what he will do.
There is a chain of events that our thoughts put into motion. It can be positive or it can be negative, it all depends on what we focus our thoughts on. I know this principle is true from experience. My husband and I had our dream house but because I listened to all the bad news on the economy and I couldn’t find a job, I was convinced that we got in over our head and we were going to lose everything and that is exactly what happened. It hurts now to think about it, it still hurts to drive past the house but I have to think about the brighter days ahead of me and all the people and experiences that would have never come into my life if I hadn’t gone through it. I have a totally new appreciation for what is important and it’s not having the biggest house or the nicest cars. These things are nice to have but without friends and family to enjoy them with they are just things. I almost lost my family because of my thoughts and now I’m regaining my life because of my thoughts.

Thoughts are things,

How to Get Over Anger and Bitterness

  • Posted on December 20, 2010 at 1:48 pm

Author: Fred Michaels
It happens to each one of us from time to time, and it can be really aggravating. A person you trust or assumed you had good relations with does something to backstab you or disrespect you. If that person was not friend or family, you might just banish them from your life and not have to interact with them again. But that isn’t necessarily practical if the individual is a member of your family or social circle. Occasionally you have to pardon and forget otherwise the resentment can cause you personal strife.

But sourness and fury are powerful emotions which will gain control over you if you do not have strategies for dealing with them. I am going to teach you about one method I have found very useful in conquering or limiting my bitterness, anger, and dislike of folks I haven’t any way out but to interact with. I first read about this strategy in self-development guru Anthony Robbins’ book Awaken The Giant Within. To switch your emotions you have to change the things that you focus on. So when you’re caught up in destructive feelings towards another, change your focus by asking yourself “What do I respect about this person?” In all likelihood, your response will be “Nothing!”. That’s alright. But ask again, this time changing the question to “What could you respect about this person if you wanted to?” This time you’ll probably think of something respectable about them. Focus on that side of the individual, and you may end up flowing into another more positive emotional state.

The reason why the second question is so strong is that we regularly resist emotions that cause us discomfort. In this situation, for instance, being indignant gives you the illusion of having more charge over the situation, so you resist moving away from that fury and passing into a happier state. You feel at home with the fury. But by asking the question hypothetically, as in “if you wanted to”, you are removing the resistance since you do not have to personally take accountability for whatever ideas you come up with about that person. You are simply brainstorming hypothetically. But the key is that your emotions will follow your focus, so although you are only thinking hypothetically, you are now concentrating on something good and your emotions will move into a more positive state.

Let us take a look at an example so you may understand what I mean. Shall we say your mother is overprotective of you and won’t stop trying to shelter you from the world even though you are a grown adult. I know from personal history this can cause plenty of resentment and disappointment. The primary thought of the person is “Stop trying to manipulate me!” But then you ask the question “What do I respect about my mother?” Maybe your answer is “Nothing! She needs to leave me alone” then rephrase the question, “What could you respect about her if you wanted to?” Then you’ll probably come up with something similar to “Well, she obvious|clear}ly loves me. She wants to keep me safe. She’s a caring person.” That hypothetical brainstorming has altered your focus and your emotional state, and you probably feel a little more sympathy for her after asking yourself these questions. That does not imply you have to permit her behaviour, but it can help you handle it in a rational, positive way instead of degenerating into fury and antagonism that can cause damage to the relationship and reduce your overall contentment.

Knowing how to control your emotional states can offer you amazing power over your life and you. The above is only one simple example, but there are numerous other ways to get control of your emotions. I highly recommend Anthony Robbins’ book Awaken The Giant Within as a helpful source of practical techniques to help you achieve this.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/alternative-medicine-articles/how-to-get-over-anger-and-bitterness-1242009.html

About the Author

Forest Harper has been extraordinarily concerned in self-improvement for years , and takes a deep interest in controlling emotional states, as well as changing your beliefs and values to help you achieve the life you need. She maintains a blog Gemstone Meanings, where she discusses the Gem Sapphire Stone and other strong gems.

Principles of Leadership

  • Posted on December 2, 2010 at 2:18 pm

Chris Brady is a wonderful speaker who teaches people to fulfill their destiny through personal growth and being a positive influence to others. I am always “pumped” after listening to any of his CD’s. He has made a huge difference in my life over the past 12 months. Three NY Times best sellers that I would highly recommend are; Launching a Leadership Revolution, Leadership and Liberty and Rascal – Making a difference by becoming an original character which Mr. Brady co-wrote with his good friend, Orrin Woodward. Although I have never met the man in person (but hope to someday) Chris Brady has such charisma that is contagious, you can’t help but to be excited for life with a purpose! Here are some principles he posted on his blog a few years back that I thought would be valuable to pass along.

1. Focus only upon what you can control
2. The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing
3. It’s not what happens, it’s how you respond
4. Everything happens for a reason
5. God is sovereign and in control
6. Most things you worry about never come to fruition
7. One person CAN make a difference
8. Anything worhwhile is usually difficult to accomplish and takes time to do so
9. Who you are is much more important than what you accumulate
10. There is such a thing as RIGHT and WRONG
11. Action builds strength, inaction builds weakness
12. People resist a challenge, but are the happiest when they are engaged in a challenge
13. Leaders are always just normal people who adhere to great principles and ideas
14. We are all here for a purpose
15. People matter (more specifically, INDIVIDUALS matter)

Chris Brady’s Leadership Blog is http://chrisbrady.typepad.com